Consider Sin City

I don't know what to think of Las Vegas.

I lost forty dollars on the slots. I could have stopped at one point after winning back most of it, but chose to keep going. Before the trip started I'd decided on my "gambling budget," but had not expected that forty dollars would get me through five days. My mom said that forty dollars is nothing, that many people lose that in the first half hour. Ryan said I shouldn't feel guilty, that I'd had fun and was just paying for a few hours of entertainment.

So why did I feel so terrible, so dirty, so ashamed? I didn't lose my savings, or pawn my jewelry, or take out a second mortgage on the house. I didn't do anything illegal. All I did was play a game. How is it so different from an arcade? At least on the slots there was a chance I'd win it back.

But oh man, the shame. I wanted to throw up, or curl up in a ball. I felt as if I'd set the money on fire, just to watch it burn. Maybe it comes from knowing exactly what forty dollars is worth - four hours of hard labor, sweat and aching muscles. Every time I opened a paycheck last year, I felt a warm satisfaction, proud to know that I'd earned it. My bank account is considerably lighter now, after our trip to Sin City. The money I gambled is only a part of it - dress clothes and overpriced food and drinks were the greater part of what I spent.

I enjoyed the Consumer Electronics Showcase (which is the real reason we went). I loved the Bellagio fountains. Ryan and I had a magical night when we dressed up to see "O". And I enjoyed visiting my relatives in Henderson. But Vegas? For just a little while, I bought into the system that keeps Sin City alive, and it sickened me.

Maybe someday I'll go back, and if so I'll probably gamble. Because that's what you do in Las Vegas. It's not a magical city, not an adventure, not a cultural experience. Just a playground for the rich and the wannabe rich, a system designed to separate adults from their money.

Arthroscopic surgery is so cool!

So, about my wrist injury...
On Wednesday I got an MRI, which must have been one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. It took them quite a while to find the right spot to inject the contrast, but fortunately I was numbed up. It was still quite sore afterward and I had trouble using my hand. Then the MRI itself. Have you ever had one? Forty minutes lying on my stomach, holding my hand in an awkward position and not moving at all. At least I had headphones with music to drown out the loud clicking and banging noises coming from the machine. It felt as though I was being digested by a robot.
The result, as interpreted by my hand doc, is that I need surgery. It will probably happen sometime next week. They'll put me under, use the arthroscope to fix my wrist, and that's it. Ryan will get the entertainment of me being all groggy from the painkillers, which I hope he enjoys.
In other news, my seasonal trail job is officially over. Today I start volunteering for the Forest Service visitor's center here in Boulder. With volunteering and karate, and my gym membership, I have lots of opportunities to get out of the house. Hopefully I won't get the cabin fever that haunted me last winter.

I think that sentence is unique in all of time and space.

(Ryan and I walk past a sign advertising "Prime for life" morgages)

Me: Prime for life, huh? Sounds like a rap album.
Ryan: *laughs*
Me: In fact, if I ever have a math rap group, I'm going to call it Prime for Life. *pause* What rhymes with indivisible?
Ryan: Invisible?
Me: Invincible?
Ryan: Hmm, testicle almost rhymes.
Me: I am not putting a testicle in my math rap!

Ugh, not again

Ryan and I seem to have a problem. Whenever we have guests, or we visit someone, one or both of us gets sick. When Shannon was staying with us, he had a stomach flu, got so dehydrated he passed out, and I had to take him to the emergency room. Needless to say, our guest left early. Last summer, we both had strep throat while Kelly and Ryan were visiting. I was so worried that we would infect them, but they escaped with their health intact.

So when we both got a cold last week, I figured we had dodged a bullet. But here I am, head aching, throat sore, so it seems that my cold was only faking it last week. Dang. It's odd that I am mostly worried about feeling crappy on the plane. I don't want people giving me a dirty look, as if I have the plague.

Speaking of, we will be in Michigan from the 22nd to the 1st of December, Tuesday to Tuesday. We don't have much free time, since we'll be hitting both of our family's celebrations, but if you'd like to hang out give one of us a shout.

I really miss GEP.

Oops, almost midnights. Don't want to miss another post!

In college, I read the book "Oryx and Crake" in my Science Fiction and Medicine class. I know some of you have read it too - did you know there is a sequel? "The Year of the Flood," which I bought as soon as it came out, is the only sequel Margaret Atwood has ever written. Maybe because the issues and fears of the first book are still very much present in our world.

Just like O&C, YotF manages to totally scare the crap out of me. It isn't a horror novel, nor a mystery, but a post-apocalyptic world with too many similarities to our own. I had nightmares, of the sort that don't completely go away when I wake up. Some days I am terrified of the future.

PS How much do I love that the Religion section is hemmed in by History, Science, Poetry...and the restroom? Awesome!

Enemy territory

With Ryan still feeling sick today, I decided he needed company on a drive down to Colorado Springs. Unfortunately, I can't just drop him off at work because I can't get onto military bases. Hmph. So instead he had to drop me off in town and a Starbucks this morning, and I've been slumming around Barnes and Noble all day. It's just like college!

I love sticking it to The Man by reading books in the store and then reshelving them. Unfortunately, I was reading the appropriately named "The Confusion" by Neal Stephenson, book two of his massive Baroque Cycle. Great author, but not the best for a light read. I must prefer reading constantly for a few days to immerse myself completely - living in Stephenson's world is the best way to understand it. Today, however, was not a day to get lost in a book. So I read a new webcomic instead. Yay ancient Rome!

I tried to sketch some of my fellow cafe goers, but was too self-conscious to do much. I guess I'm out of practice. I would love to be able to capture a person in the simple lines used by the creators of SPQR Blues and Hark! A Vagrant. I suppose I just need practice, which means I need a new sketchbook. Excellent - I love buying art supplies almost as much as I love buying books.